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The ABC’s of hard knocks…

Day 17 of #HAWMC: Learned the hard way

What’s a lesson you learned the hard way? Write about it for 15 today.”

What an appropriate topic for today, for me.

What is a lesson that I have learned the hard way.  Would I choose:

1) That life can be cruel.

2) That life can be joyous.

3) That I have some freak form of innate fear of flying bugs, or

4) That no matter what, the common denominator in the awesomeness or shittiness of your life is….YOU.

Thusly (“Oh, how I told you thusly…”), the hardest lesson that I’ve ever had to learn, coupled with having learned it the hard way…is this:

I am the sole orchestrator of my life.  

I decide what gets played, and what stays in the piano bench.  I decide who I want to play with me, and who will taint the sweet melody with crescendos of negativity.

What I also had to learn, is that people are the sole orchestrator of THEIR lives, and that I will not always be chosen to play their funky music, either.

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. – Vernon Saunders Law

I soooooooooo want people to like me.

I want them to like me and find all that I do interesting and trend it around the world. *shifty eyes*

In a nutshell, people don’t have to give a good rat’s ass about what ails me and how it affects the majority of my daily living.

They are not obligated to giveth a shiteth.

Those that do, will follow as they can, ask questions and propose suggestions for the title of my made-for-tv-movie kind of life.

It also means that I cannot be presumptuous that those who aren’t in the loop are any less “friends” than someone who keeps up…That would be pompous and ignorant of me to do so.  What I feel I need to do, practice more…so to speak…is alter my definition of “friend” to better focus on what that person actually provides to me in the daily course of my life.

Example, I have a good friend that chooses not to follow the bouncing ball over the words of the script.  However, she has provided to me such valuable perspective in the family issues of my life that have actually been quite life-changing…and all for the very best of all involved.  THAT is the benefit of her presence in my life, and I value and appreciate it.

Example, I have, myself,  been “let go”…by my best friend of 22 years…he was like my brother and to this day, I’m not even really clear as to why.  I think I do, but I can’t ask for clarification.  I do know, however, that my presence in his life had reached it’s conclusion and was no longer being a productive contributor to his life.

What’s the rondo?

That you “learn”.  Always.  Continually.

Not always easy…

Not always fun…

ALWAYS worth the price. 😉

This post was written in participation of WEGO Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge, April 2012.



  1. Tracy Thillmann

    Ah yes the lesson of life. I find that how people interact in your life is how the melody of the song keeps changing and morphing. Each has their own notes to play as you do in others. Those that leave, for whatever reason, I guess were no longer in harmony with you bass rhythm and needed to move on… Sorry your post got me waxing poetic. 😀

  2. Pam

    The only thing that we have control over are our own choices. Some times it is best that we move away from discordant notes to keep our own melody as pure as possible to the symphony we have written in our head. Hugs and loves always,


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