Menu Close

Stress in unexpectedly obvious places…


Lose it like a bad dream or a muffin top.

If I had a dollar for every time a specialist has told me, “You need to find a way to reduce your stress.” (This sounds like deja vu…did I already say this before? Did I just hit a “Save” point?)

What no one ever (never, ever) tells you is the HOW.

I did the proverbial:

1. Downsize: reduce the things you can reduce – I downsized* my daycare job to before and after school care only. No toddlers or infants. *What I’d failed to think through were PD days, holiday breaks and 10 hour/day summer. Oops.

2. De-clutter-ify: totally necessary (and totally a word…*shifty eyes*) – lose the quantity of visual stimulation! Reduce the number of “knick knacks” cluttering up your shelves, your rooms…your “Everything.” The more you see has an impact on your state of mind. Clutter seen is clutter felt.

3. Say. NO. To events, to engagements, to anything. Further to the “NO” is the sidekick “I’ve changed my mind….NO.” It takes practice.

Start now.

And you know what?

I’m still feckin’ stressed out.

I’m limited in managing the output of other people. I don’t think peeps take that into account. Whereas *I* get the finger waggle for doing too much… *always*… doing too much, no one holds the other members of my inner circle accountable for their own contributions.

That shit’s gotta stop. If you’re watching loved ones doing too much, and enduring further flares and illness…after you’ve continuously told them to stop…um…common denominator, peeps. We’re not always just being stubborn. (and I *know* stubborn…ask my husband)

So, I have continued to ponder and wonder and have come to (yet another) epiphany that I will be implementing for my 2015 Year of Llama “Me.” in continued efforts to “own my shit.”

Something that I *can* control…what I have left in my power to control…what I can continue to “own”…is this:

Artist, musician, professional...whatev's...
Artist, musician, professional…whatev’s…









I have now come to an understanding of just how much “free” I give, or am queried to give.

THIS is what I can own. THIS is where I’ve been selling myself short, and adding to my less-than-stellar, plate runeth over, made-for-tv-movie kind’o’life.

If peeps are expecting crafting, herbalism or any other tangible efforts using skills and knowledge that I have 1) spent years and time learning and/or 2) spent money on to learn…I will be compensated for such efforts, skills and knowledge. Money, barter…whatever…but this is of value and I deserve it.

This shall be my pre-emptive, “No.” with another sidekick, “I’ll change my mind if I feel there is/is no tangible benefit to “Me.”…” I’m taking back my choice.

I suppose, to anyone who has never experienced the above cartoon’s circumstance, that some peeps be all, “Dude. You’re just being an asshat.”

To which I shall emphatically reply, “Dude. I’m worth my time, effort and expenditure.”

Always learning, always growing…a dynamic intro-personal relationship between my “coulds” and “woulds” and “shants” and “wonts”.

With more and more social media pleas to “Shop local!” and “Support local artisans!” I really, really resonate with this and will emphatically repeat same to each and every artisan, musician, writer and professional:

You are worth it. 🙂


  1. Laurie Stewart

    I totally agree.
    And to everyone who says the “faith” or “craft” should/must be freely given? And anything that I can call craft no matter how tangential, costly, difficult, not-my-business… should also be free for me?
    I will pray for you. Because that’s my faith. I may even do a free ritual for you. But I will be asking that you get enlightened about how selfish you are being, not that you be given something free that you need to pay for.
    Because… years of training, experience, cost of parts/ candles/ peripherals/ transportation… chronic pain!!!

  2. Mae

    We hear you loud and clear as a crystal bell!
    HB always gets the , ”well what do YOU have to be stressed about?” and from the doctor, ”you can’t be in real pain it must be stress”.
    We try our best to reduce stress, but where else do we reduce?
    And the exposure thing, minus the showing of my cheeks I get that a lot! Its nuts!
    I only just started taking back my own choice, and learning ”NO!” was the hardest thing O.O
    ( to think we said it a million million times between the ages two and three right!? Where did that super power of ‘no’ go?)

    Keep practicing the no, and power of choice! We’re right there with you! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.