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Snark-Ass is Coming…

I’m currently watching my cats do that “paw-paw-paw-BITCHSLAP” dance that cats do.

Cats are fucking lucky.

Today is also the epitome of my being a total Snark-Ass.

I haven’t hurt like this in weeks.

Why?  Because Mother Nature is also being a Snark-Ass.

Because Mercury has gone retrograde and is also being a Snark-Ass.

Because it’s Tuesday.  I don’t have “Mondays”…I have “Tuesdays”…and it’s being a total Snark-Ass.

So, in the infinite wisdom that is all things Snark-Ass, I almost deleted my Facebook account and threw in the white towel.

I didn’t delete my facebook account because apparently I can make a difference in their perception of all things inspirational, and that’s kind of badass.

I didn’t end up throwing in the white towel because that just sounds like I’m being made to do the laundry, which, today, isn’t going to fucking happen.

Because I’m a Snark-Ass.

Thus, in the infinite wisdom that is all things “Me being a total Snark-Ass”…I signed up for two free online courses. One starts in November and lasts for 5 weeks.  The other starts in January and lasts for 6 weeks.

The second one in January is called, “Nutrition for Health Promotion and Disease Prevention” as offered by the University of California (yes, I did just type, “Californication”…sod off, Smart-Ass).

This will be a stellar compliment to the Chartered Herbalism program I’ve set to start for myself sometime in September (because sliding my debit card down my I’ve-earned-this-ass didn’t pay for it just yet).

I’ll even get a little certificate outta the deal.

Oh, right…the first one…I honestly debated even telling you about it, mostly because it seems I’ve got my own cheering crew of “What the fuck are you thinking?!?

Remember this is the year of “Self Discipline” that I chose to study?

It’s been pointed out to me that I need to practice the art of self-discipline as it pertains to me specifically…as in…taking time for myself.  I wholeheartedly concur.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about this (total pun intended…just sayin’…I’m quite the sarcastic shit today) and I’ve come to realize that this IS they way I take the time for me!!

I love learning.  CRAVE it like a fat kid craves a Smartie. (No, Smartie-brand company is not getting a damn cent for using their name, mostly because I prefer M&M’s and I’m just being a total Snark-Ass).

Oh yes.  Me and learning.  A total bitch-slap-fest of academia…teasing my neural networks to formulate bridges of knowledge and wells of wisdom.  A total S&M of cellular stimulation.

“Drugs and the Brain” as offered by Caltech.

(The connotation of said title is not lost upon my chronic badass self who fully intends on the eventual takeover of the world…)

Here you go…check it out:

Pretty badass, eh?

Oh yes…and this is concurrent to the Chartered Herbalism Program of awesomeness.

And it will be the hardest 5 weeks of my life.

Until January’s 6 hardest weeks of my life.

During the hardest 52 weeks of my life.

And I will remind you that I currently hold two college diplomas and an Associate’s Degree…all three with High Honours.

Because I’m also a fucking smart Snark-Ass.

I think I need to make myself a t-shirt.


  1. Steve Clayton

    At least you meant it this time 😛
    I would hate to see you leave fb but would so understand.
    Don’t forget in this tough year,
    You have friends that might help at times
    Even if its just to hand you a tissue and a weapon.

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