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Shoulda’ taken the TARDIS…

Today’s prompt is short and sweet:

Elevator blog. If you were in an elevator with someone and they asked about your blog. What would you tell them? Make a version for a 30 second ride. A 1 minute ride.  A 2 minute ride.”

I do rather think, however, that the answer is much more than 30 seconds, 1 minute and 2 minutes.  Why?

Because people can be fickle.  And by fickle, I mean either righteous and/or broodish or arrogant and/or ignorant.

A girl’s got to take that into account when formulating a plan of attack to prepare said “elevator speech.”  Your first impression of someone comes within the first minute of interaction…how the hell does one scrape out the backside of your impromptu ass an appropriate response in a 30 second elevator ride?!? The math doesn’t add UP, people….*shakes head*….OCD be damned!!

IF, by some freak chance I was in the elevator in the Twilight Zone met Stargate and begat Doctor Who (dunno…could happen) and someone said:

The 30 Second Schpiel 

“Whassup, yo?”

I would reply with –

“I’m a health activist who is trying to bring awareness to an autoimmune disease called ‘Lupus’.  I blog about the reality of trying to raise a family and deal with work and doctors, friends and family.”

The 1 Minute Schpiel 

“I heard you had a blog.  What’s it about?”

“I’m trying to be an advocate for people all over the world who suffer from illnesses that aren’t always so obvious.  I have a chronic autoimmune disease called ‘Lupus’ and I hope that by writing about things like how I’m dealing with the doctors, the perceptions of my family…even things like having to decline social events because I never know how I’m going to feel…that it brings someone else going through the same thing a bit of relief to know that they’re not alone.

The 2 minute Schpiel 

(Some jackass’s kid just pushed all the damn buttons. You know who you are.)

“I was told that you were using social media to spread awareness of some kinds of multiple health issues through your blog?  Would that be correct?”

“I love you.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“I’m a health activist and advocate for a multitude of chronic illnesses, primarily focusing on an autoimmune disease called ‘Lupus’, as it was the first I was really diagnosed with.  I started my blog to help my friends and family try to understand why I might not look like anything’s changed on the outside, but that my body is attacking itself on the inside.  I write about the realities of managing the household, a job, five kids and my advocacy.  Kind of a no-nonsense, tell it like it is middle-finger salute to everything chronic.  I use social media to network with other advocates and to make connections with others afflicted with similar chronic diseases and syndromes to know that we all are not alone.”

Of course, in that critical first minute (gawd help me if it’s only a 30 second ride…I swear…) I spend numerous seconds evaluating if the person asking is actually going to hear the words that will be coming out of my mouth, or will just stand there…blinking.

Blinking is for holiday lights.  Even those piss me off.  Especially the out of sync ones.  With that odd burnt-out bulb.

I digress.

No, if I feel you’re going to have a case of the “blinks”…I’ll respond with:

“Me? No…I’m Rose…But I am just on my way to see the Doctor.”

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days:

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