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My Compendium of Pecuniary Records…

**WARNING: this post may contain information that you just might not want to be privvy to. And I say “shit” a lot. Just sayin’. In writing.**

So, I’m a totally huge “How I Met Your Mother” junkie…it’s all about the NPH, y’know? ;o) (Who, might I add, is also the proud parent of twins with his partner…Go you guys!!!)

Anyhooooooooo….one of the episodes entitled, “We’re not from here”, posed an interesting concept:

Having a “death folder”.

I have one.

But I don’t CALL it that…good gawds no!

Nope. I’ve got a Compendium of Pecuniary Records, so that upon my dissolution of cellular activity…people know where my shit is.  Money shit.  Bill shit. Tax shit.

No shit. ALL of it.

I shit you not.

[enter delirious cackle, stage left]

Now, I’ve always had a “bill binder”.  Since, oh…1995? 1996? And, given my self-employment status…now it just makes tax time oh-so-very much easier.

However, upon my doctor’s oh-so-very ….hold on….I cry every damn time….*takes a breath*….gentle suggestion that I get all my shit in order…*grabs tissue*…I have expanded my Compendium to also include the rest of the shit my family will require in order to get shit done upon that dissolution of cellular activity.

Question is: Do YOU have one?

Here’s mine.  First off, I’ve got all my Compendiums up on my bedroom closet shelf.  Easy access.  What’s it got? Well, everything since, oh, 1995? 1996? (OCD meet Hoarder). MOST importantly, it has my life insurance information.  Also things like my old Separation Agreement.  Correspondence as to where my Will and Powers of Attorney are located.

It’s like I’ve got my own damned Oraculum of Compendiums.

THEN, I have the most recent Compendium on my dining room bookshelf.  There it is…orange binder.  2011.  Uber-easy access.

What’s it got? Well, all the usual…bills, which contain all pertinent account information.  Tax information, which makes sending in an Authorization and Direction to CRA to release information oh-so-very much easier.  Bank information, so someone will know where to go.

What do I need to add to it??

Well, one might wonder how I process all of this health issue stuff.  For instance, I need to comprehend the magnitude of the dissolution of cellular activity on not just my immediate family (provided for with life insurance and Will)…but of the extension of family given the nature of the relationship of the children and their father…an active participant in their lives.  Oddly enough, he’s the only one who’s asked me how and what I think about all of this…

[enter totally cryptic comment directed back at my actual clinical diagnosis, stage right]

Example:  If their father were to pass shortly after me, or predecease me before I do the same…where will my children go?  Thankfully, I have an impending marriage.  THANKFULLY.  However, their father must be in agreement that my “husband” be the guardian of the children.  If not, I need to know that their father has his OWN Will and POA’s with a provision of guardianship for the children.  And life insurance.  Hmmm.  Maybe his brother?  Then, by that same token, does his brother then have a provision in HIS Will, should he then pass on before they are of legal adulthood to be on their own? It’s like a goddamned Wella Balsam commercial…”and so on…and so forth…”…

These are the thoughts that make me cry.

So, I will need to add an updated Will and Powers of Attorney after marriage.  I will need to add confirmation of changing my life insurance beneficiary to my then “husband”.  I will need to include any name change or assumption documents.  I will need to put in my birth certificate, SIN card and any passports.  I will also have to find a place to keep my online passwords for banking, bill payments, etc…for ease of access in case of any Court applications for whatever might arise…

And you wonder why I can’t just sit and rest.

I think.

I think, therefore, I cry.

But, I have consolation of knowing that should there be a freak dissolution of cellular activity prior to the forecasted event…all my shit is in one of two places.

I don’t think this is necessarily a lesson in living with chronic illness.  I think this is a lesson in life planning…everyone should have some kind of game plan.

It just makes shit easier.

Cuz sometimes? Sometimes shit happens.


  1. Lorraine Hart

    Brilliant shit! Yes, yes, yes, though we all can live on the banks of denial easily. My daughter has chronic Lyme…now thirteen years and in the fifteen percentile that won’t get better without…well, you know…we all wait for the key to unlock all this…shit. Her beautiful brother has promised to be her caregiver, should anything happen to me.

    You have beautiful shit Brynn…carry on, Lupus Warrior…and educate the peoples. Cheers! xoxo

  2. Dawn

    I love that you’ve written so openly about what needs to be organized “just in case.” I was advised years ago (when my first was born) by my mother to do the same, not due to chronic illness, but due to having an infant and so I have. But it always surprises me how many parents in general do not have those records organized and in one place , cause unfortunately sometimes “just in case” becomes “actually needed”

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