Kind of. In my reality, it seems….
Some days, I’d rather not have known about all of this. Some days, I wish I could return to the safety of thinking I was just crazy. I used to keep everything hidden. I used to push through everything for the sake of all humanity. (okay, maybe not…but still…felt like it)
Now, it’s all I think about. It’s all I spend time on my computer for…researching…blogging…forum writing to find out just how UN-crazy I am…and how most utterly NOT alone I am….because I still feel it. *shrug* I catch myself starting to complain about something and then I realize…no one else’s life has changed…just my own…and it, frankly, really isn’t their problem. (okay, maybe not….but still…feels like it)
What have I come up with so far? Meh. That I want to just throw in the towel and pretend nothing’s wrong. Because, ultimately, to face the reality is just too overwhelming…”Don’t do this.” “Don’t eat that.” “Do this.” “For heaven’s sake do NOT do THAT when you do THIS.”
I’ll tell you what you can do…..
So let’s jump on some positives, shallllllll we??
1) I have not smoked in 8 days…today is day 9. I have no desire to smoke. I am THRILLED. :o)
2) NavCan is in 9 days. For those that don’t know…NavCan is a weekend retreat, out of the city, with my favouritest gal pals for scrapbooking (crafting, for others). This is a weekend of NO cooking, NO cleaning, NO men (other than the hot border guards if we’re lucky on our way to the scrapbook store), NO kids.
Seriously. You put your tray of dishes on the magic conveyer belt and the dish fairies behind the wall take care of them. *sniff* It’s a beautiful thing.
This weekend I was going to do wedding/handfasting stuff…but I’ll save that for the fall retreat. I must work on my mother’s wedding album!! And I wanted to stock up on some bulk, generic cards to have on hand.
BUT…yesterday I had, on a whim, the inclination to try a wire wrapped tree sculpture…It’s a little “littler” than I’d probably use…but I can forsee centrepieces on the wedding dining tables :o)
Now I want to try different ones. Must go to the bead store sometime soon…this was way too easy to make!! LOL
Greens+: shush. I don’t wanna talk about it. pffffbbbtttt. I’ll switch to the protein shakes today, and pick up the damned capsules!!