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Forgotten balls & Ding-dongs…

The Epic Weekend of Luxury…Part Deux.

(sounds pretty mutha’ freakin’ fancy schmancy, eh?)

Travelling with chronic pain & afflictions:

1) Two tennis balls in a sock to place on your lower lumbar while driving keeps your lower spine in the correct anatomical position.

I, on the other hand, forgot my balls. (o.O) I really wish I hadn’t forgotten my balls.

2) Medications: triple check that you actually have them. Thankfully, we were only 5 minutes from home when we discovered neither of us had our own.

3) Medications, part deux: DO NOT…EVER…Take more than you need for the trip. Keep the remaining in a safe container at home, with the refill number written on the bottle. Why? What happens when your brain-fog kicks in and your forget them as you head to check out? Ever tried to get a refill on your insurance plan when the allotment has already been filled for that particular timeframe?

4) Move. Twirl your ankles, roll your shoulders, gently twist from side to side…keep that circulation going!! Take a rest stop for 10 minutes if you can, even, every couple of hours…get those long muscles stretched out. Diabetics are especially at risk of blood clots in the legs due to poor circulation.

5) Hydrate. ‘Nuff said. At the very least, it’ll make you have to pee, which will trigger the reminder for your rest stop. Win-Win. ūüėČ

6) Protein & fresh foods. Have a periodic snack of nuts/seeds/veggies to keep blood glucose stable (that goes for everyone, incidentally…nothing like a¬†hypoglycaemic¬†episode to make you feel like a drunken turducken. (o.O)

7) Earplugs. I’d brought them to keep the noises of my flailing children all sleeping in one bed at bay…but I now realize that I’m going to even start taking them on my scrapbooking retreats, too…it really cuts out all the incidental noises that you’re simply not accustomed to…fans kicking in…heaters going on…whatever. Rest is crucial. Make it so.

8) When valet parking is included as a service…enjoy it.


…until you get “that phone call” indicating that your car has been involved in an “incident” and can you please come down and look at the damage the valet attendant caused whilst backing in another car…right smack into yours.


CarBecause out of ALL the mutha’ f*ing cars parked by ding-dong valets this weekend at the Trump Towers…it was, in fact, MY car that was the cause of this phone call.

Because out of ALL the mutha’ f*ing times for something to cosmically snafu…this is THE WORST week EVA’…

Told you. Even Oprah can’t make this shit up.

True story.

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