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Feelin’ “Zazzy”…

When I think about how I decided to take on National Health Blog Post Month this month…the results are in:

…this bitch be CRAZY!!

How does one manage the issues of five children, four weeks ’til Yule, three weeks of consecutive blog posts to date, two daycare kids and a partridge in a freakin’ snow covered tree because we had our first snowfall today thereby sending all of my small kidlets into a kind of a sugar-crack high?!?!?

*takes a deep breath*

[Why yes, Sheldon, I’d love a hot beverage.]

I don’t really remember my thought process going into this…I blame the medications.  All of ’em.  Working together in a diabolical scheme to make me do things you only read about in comic books about people with alter-egos and…

I digress.

Honestly?  I needed to do this.  I needed to do this so I can show the world that:

1)  When I say I’m going to commit myself to do something…I’m going to do it.  I so often decline commitment due to the very nature of the chaos of my reality…I never know what each day holds for me…so the effect of my committing to this endeavour makes my honour and worth rise in direct proportion to it’s completion.

2) That I am still oh-so-very much more than the lists of diagnoses…a mother…the handfuls of pharmaceutical poisons…a wife…the ChickWhoWalksWithCane…I have a brain that still works pretty damn well even when the body it manages does not.

So far, 23 days, 22 posts.  Used 1 of the 2 get-out-of-posting-free cards after totally forgetting the 19th.  *grumbly*

But holy crap on a proverbial cracker.  I’m doing it!!

By my exuberant excitement (in my head as I’m currently wrapped up in heating pads), this tells me that not only am I doing this for the above mentioned reasons…I truly am doing this for myself.

It means I can overcome the daily chaos in order to write…to bring awareness…to bring creativity…to participate in a challenge that raises my self-esteem.

It means I can overcome the stresses of a teenager who is struggling in life.  I can overcome the challenges of a son who lives 5 hours away.  I can overcome the fears of twin boys who need intensive therapies for comprehension and speech/language delays.  I can overcome the challenges of bone-crushing fatigue.  I can overcome the distraction of managing a home and a job.  I can overcome the intense pain.  I can overcome the fear of the cessation of cellular activity.  I can overcome the anxiety of doctors appointments and bloodwork and xrays and results and more diagnoses and the reality that some people just don’t want to hear about any of it.

I can overcome all this and ensure that there is time during the day for me.  For writing.  For release.  For a temporary reprieve from all things suck-assery.

What else does it tell me?

It means I can do whatever the hell I set my mind to do.

(But when I’m sick, I still dictate that you sing “Soft Kitty” to me.)

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days

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