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By The Power of Grayskull!!!!

Today’s prompt is one that I figured, as a health activist, would have to come up sooner or later…and with only 2 posts left of NHBPM…today’s the day!!

Say WHAT?! What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve heard about health or your condition. Was there any context? What did you think at the time you heard it – and what do you think of it now?”

Now, in all fairness, I can’t say “ridiculous” without the guaranteed offence to people who generally mean a TON of good will towards men…fa la la la laaaaa…



Other than, perhaps, the beauty industry, there’s nothing like trying to make a buck or eleventy-billion trying to sell people who feel, and are, at their absolute worst and most confused and scared…


I have Lupus.  If you have found that cure, I will personally kiss your lovely round ass.  And ask to live in your house, because you would have, being the nice person you are, shared this cure with the millions of scientists, geneticists and whatever else “ists” exist that have spent the past several decades trying to accomplish.  Just.  That. and therefore don’t have the eleventy-billion dollars the mainstream capitalist industries possess by selling their cures-in-a-bottle…to live in a mansion.  And have a yacht.  And a cabana boy.

Selling cures-in-a-bottle.  Or gelcap.  Or potion.  Or tincture.  Or tablet.  Or organic, naturally grown herb.  Or spice.  Or…(this one kills me…figuratively) a book.

It’s not that I don’t believe that there could be the potential for relief for me in some of these things.  Not at all.  I partake in chiropractic care and massage therapy.  Reiki, even.  I wish I could partake in acupuncture…I’ve heard good things about it (money).  Natural therapies? Perhaps.  But come on…logically…how do you expect me to believe that something I have to take three caplets of, three to four times a day, at $9.99+ per bottle of 30 caplets…is really going to cure me of a long-term autoimmune disease that is destroying my kidneys and makes the lining around my heart swell!?!?!

It pissed me off when I heard it at the beginning of my chronic illness journey, and it MORE than pisses me off now…learning more and more about a disease specific to ME (and thus, not the masses of the naive)…and seeing more and more “websites” that offer the be-all and end-all of my disease.

Again.  I do believe there is benefits to some natural therapies.

I do NOT, emphatically stated, believe that any of the corporation and capitalistic-backed therapies OR natural therapies holds a CURE.

Relief? Perhaps. CURE? Idiocy.  Ridiculousness.

Dude.  Some of the best brains in the world are currently working on this very issue, for a disease that no one knows how it even originates.

But a handful of herbals I can buy on the shelf of a grocery store is going to make it all go away???

Then there are the natural “natural therapies”…

Perhaps your cousin’s sister’s brother who works with Joe Blow who has cured himself of lupus by eating 5 pounds of broccoli really only pushed it into remission – meaning, no obvious systems of the disease.


Or maybe he never #$%#$’ING had it.

Most people average an official diagnosis after 3-5 years of teasting, retesting, testing some more and then testing for shits and giggles.

Don’t friggin’ insult my somewhat limited, although better than yours who doesn’t have this disease, intelligence by telling me that buying something is going to cure me.

Unfortunately, many family and friends fall into this capitalist trap as well…and I truly mean no offence to people who genuinely want to try to help…but…

…my experience to date has been that people are so overwhelmed with the quantity of all-that-is-wrong with me that they overdo the industry “push”…the suggestions…the queries…the “did you try this?”…that it really turns into someone who has no experience with the complexity of my issues…trying to micromanage them.


I’ve wanted to get that out for sooooooooo long.

Do.  Not.  Micromanage me.

If you have heard of it…I have heard of it.

I, however, have also factored in the other eleventy-billion conditions by which I am afflicted and know that…NO…echinacea is NOT what I goddamn-well need…it is about the opposite of what I “need”…and I know that yes, protein is fantabulous…except when your kidneys are taking a nose-dive.

The dangers are there…the marketing industries for these health “businesses” don’t care…just buy the damn cure!!

I have so many conditions that I have specialists educated for years to pay attention to the contraindication of each.  Okay, so he’s a dipshit.  But he’s a smart dipshit.

I just want people to believe that I have the team behind me to do it.  Slow as molasses, maybe, but that is case in point, no?  They don’t understand this mo-fo of a disease.  Which means, by extension, that neither do you, neither do I and most assuredly neither do Jamieson and GNC and every other get-rich-off-the-sick presence trying to play whatever God of your faith.

**Solution? DONATE.  Find local, provincial and national lupus charitable associations and donate to fund research.**

And I want people to understand that if there’s a cure, I will sure as shit be bellowing it from the rooftop of Grayskull itself.

Until then…I shall raise my sword and continue the fight.

(Cuz I. Have. The Powerrrrrrrrrrr…………..!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Cuz I’m badass like that. 😮

This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days


  1. Rachel

    See this all the time with (both main types of) diabetes. If this natural cure exists, why isn’t it splattered all over the news? Oh yeah, maybe not a real cure…

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