Because, crazy.

I’m tired.

Read: I am bone-crushingly exhausted to the extent that if my soul was on fire, I’d open a bag of marshmallows and enjoy the show because I wouldn’t be fucking moving. ANYWHERE.

This is critical to understand the level of “stupid” of the fatigue coming from gods-know-where during a flare up of gods-know-what.

In one of my many bone-chilling walks out in minus eleventy-billion degrees today in balmy Ottawa…I saw…something (I just typed, “somethingthing”…because it was that damn traumatic, k?)

It was…it was like the fire in my soul suddenly turned into a three year old pansy-ass little girl in the middle of the street that connects the condo complex of which she is a President on the Board of Directors.

My brain cells and neural networks, out of sheer exhaustion of even trying to trip inner networks of brain-stuffs to keep on *breathing*…simply could not correlate what my eyes saw versus what my brain processed.

This is what it actually was:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what my oxygen-deprived, bat-shit crazy brain interpreted as a result of my ocular viewing:

 

 

Mutant. Fucking. Nuclear. Green. Spiders.

 

 

 

 

 

I am pretty sure that my pansy-ass banshee screech was accompanied by a Go, Go, SpazzyFlailing of sheer awesome. I figure this to be true because I think my inner, INNER brain told me to quickly look around to see if anyone saw, coupled with a very intense urge to want to vomit.

In short, I verily believe I took *jazz hands* to a whole new level.

I’m really hoping to get a couple hours of sleep in tonight.

True story. 😉