A Thoreau Epiphany…

“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.”  ~Henry David Thoreau

Among many of the afflictions I currently possess (now into the second week of my, “Hey, I can wear an Awareness shirt every day of the week!”), the last thing I would have ever expected from my GP’s office was the following:

 

Me: Hi there! I’d like to make an appointment to see Dr. A?

Them: Oh, her assistant isn’t in today, can you call back on Monday to schedule your appointment?

(O.O)

I shit you not…only in my made-for-tv-movie kinda life.

So I went to a clinic.

I got myself an answer.

I expected this answer.

I am still going to need to call my damn GP on Monday.

*headdesk*

Moving on.

Regardless of any physical limitations imposed upon my decrepit carcass, I continue to strive towards a sense of purpose and/or fullfillment.

For example, I continue to learn and teach myself new things.  Even when my hands don’t work to craft art, or…y’know…brush my teeth.

For example, I continue to try to make myself a better person.  Even when I’m down myself for not remembering important things.

One of the points of understanding about myself that I’m attempting to work on:

I try not to answer a post/comment/status/tweet with “I”.

Okay, let me clarify:

I try not to answer a post/comment/status/tweet with “I” when said post/comment/status/tweet is expressing statements of personal angst/health/upset.

Now, this is something that has taken me over two years to figure out that I do, in fact, do this…which actually occurred as a moment of epiphany…total lightbulb over the head kinda thing.  Really cool shit.

Anyhoooooooooooooo….I’d noticed that in my greatest efforts to make someone understand that I’d “been there, done that”…that I was, in fact, invalidating their own personal experience.

This has been of utmost difficulty for me to digest and comprehend because I truly want people (not specific people…I mean, “people”…in general) to know that I can EMPATHIZE in some way…not just some Sheldon Cooper-ism of, “There, there.”  I often feel that I need people to KNOW I understand.

This is also how I know that there have been some “people” in my life who have come to perceive me as being “selfish” and “self-oriented.”

Okay, self-oriented is a given….it’s my life…”self-preservation”…duh. *eyeroll*

But, truly, I had to take a hard look at myself, figure it out, and improve upon it.

I still endeavour to practice and solidify this skill.

My question to you is: What have you come to understand about yourself that has made you want to take action to improve upon it?

*Image by Matt Cinque | Flickr via Creative Commons