There is currently an immeasurable number of thoughts going through my brain at any given moment as of late. Like, a Googolplex of ’em. And, I’m tired. Exhausted. I am trying everything from finding #gladitude (the smallest of pleasurable things you’d otherwise not have noticed) to talking, to desperately trying to redefine my “self-care” practices as what once worked, may no longer. My nerves are shot. Just the sound of the neighbour’s kids thumping up and down their stairs next door makes me want to stab my own ears with a spork. The dog licking. The kids chewing. All of…
Funny thing, mental illness, when dealing with a chronic disease: It’s not very fucking funny at all. Like, ever. In fact, as we arrive at yet another year of fundraising for yet another chronic issue, mental health, there’s a plethora of feedback on my Facebook and social media feeds regarding whether or not “One day isn’t going to make a difference.” It does. It always will. Because, I would like to highlight, Lupus (in my world) has a Walk. That’s “One Day.” Cancer has marathons and pink boobies races/walks. That’s “One Day.” MS has bike rides. Prostate cancer has motorcycle…
I did A Thing. Again. I made my way for the annual Kaleidoscope Gathering to connect and join with hundreds of my friends to celebrate our spiritual communities and share the gifts of Time and Knowledge. I’d had a bit of a snafu getting there this year…but, being the theme was “Cosmos”…I was not going to go down without punching Lupus in the proverbial junk. See, I was leaving three days after yet another, though final, chemo infusion. I was puking up until the night before, after working my shift, after trying to do All The Things to ensure my…
It’s been real, ya’ll. Trying to manage All The Things in the midst of a STOOPID crazy flare (fibro *and* lupus). And, by “stoopid”…I mean bat-shit crazy levels of “oh my gods I want to run head first into a fucking wall…” Then, one of my guinea pigs passed away. Y’know when you’ve been bottling shit up for eons, but don’t really know you’ve been bottling shit up, even though you probably sorta-kinda also should know you’ve been bottling shit up and then that ONE thing happens and…SPLOOSH…floodgates open down to the very fibre of your essence? That happened. Legit.…
It’s totally a word. Because, reasons. Here I sit, finally at my laptop, writing on a blog (I just typed “blag” because it’s been One Of Those Days) that turns SEVEN YEARS OLD today! Facebook reminded me of of something I’d posted seven years ago (I think it was that I’d joined Facebook) and I remembered it was end of March and “hey-didn’t-I-start-my-blog-around-this-time” went through my mind powers. Indeed. Seven years ago today I’d started Lupus Interrupted with a hope to help friends and family understand Lupus and all of its dastardly ills. Seven? Honestly? It doesn’t feel right. I…
I didn’t know how to re-start writing again. I tried, then, I stopped. Then, I tried, then, I deleted. THEN, I was like, “Omfg just fucking WRITE! Something, anything…anything at all.” I always seem to pop on to write when things are really snafu’d and weebly-wobbly, timey-wimey levels of bat-shit crazy, or just plain shitty. Like, spring cleaning of a yard of dog-shit, levels of shitty. Now is that time. Just fair warning. But first!! Let’s start with how this little cyclical writing is gonna throw down: Lupus Fibro Attempted Murder A boat “Wait, what?!” The problem with wrapping oneself…
It’s been a few weeks since my “package” arrived. All wrapped up like an evidence bag, furthering my irritation at the stigma attached to medical marijuana, yet satisfying my need to have some anonymity. Ironic, isn’t it? I have been waiting for this moment for MONTHS. Application snafu’s, time to process, yadda yadda….and now that it’s here? Frustrated as fuck. So many reasons. Grab a cuppa and let me tell you all about it. I now have marijuana in my house. I cannot even BEGIN to articulate the psychological issues I’m having with it being in my house, due…
It’s funny. Not really funny, “ha ha!,” but funny in a, “you’re kidding me,” kind of way…y’know…how I always seem to manifest a magical (I’m supposed to do this weekly) #gladitude post on the days I really, REALLY, uber-extra need to find said #gladitude. Today is that kind of a day. #gladitude is the purposeful choice to find those little, small, even minute things, experiences or moments that would have otherwise gone unnoticed in the regular “made-for-tv-movie” version of your life. We’d had a brief couple of days with sun this week…as Ottawa is inching it’s way out of…
“Superpower Sunday! If you had a superpower – what would it be? How would you use it?” This was supposed to be easy. Why isn’t this easy?!?!? Mind reading? Hell no. Because I don’t carry the weight of the world’s problems personally at ALL. *shifty eyes* Superhuman strength? Dude. For what? Flame On! Um, insurance liability? No thank you. Super elasticity? *cringe* With my luck I’d get an arm stuck in a revolving door and get…nope. Flying? Don’t care. Nowhere to go. Invisibility? Yeah, because I want to feel even MORE invisible with an invisible disease. Hulk Smash? Now, that…
#HAWMC Day 5 “Are you all about 180 characters or less? Do you enjoy shooting the perfect photo? Or perhaps love sharing posts on Facebook.What’s your favorite platform to get your voice heard and why?” Can you hear me now?? Hmmm. This one is tricky. I’m going to have to go with Facebook, but being the social media diva that I endeavour to be, I really have just been cross-posting across platforms this year. Again, reasons. Not that I’ve entirely lost my mo-jo, no…but that I just…hmmm…how to put it? Am I even being heard? *frowny face of wrinkly agitation*…