I kept putting it off, and it kept taunting me…
“Come into the shadows…” it said.
“What are you afraid of?” it said.
“Scared to look deep inside?” it said.
I signed up for this course/program/workshop/?? with the intention of doing a little bit more soul searching and taking back my own reality…not what is expected of me…not what is suggested to me…not what someone else dreams of doing themselves but wants to see me do in their stead…
This shit is for “Me.”
And it scares the holy blue hell out of me.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done a TON’O’SEARCHING the two years that followed my split from the father of the gingers. TONS. As in, “Bring on the cobwebs and skeletons ‘cuz the common denominator in my snafu’d made-for-tv-movie kind’o’life is…….ME.”
And I looked.
And I acknowledged.
And I sure as shit accepted.
I didn’t “clean house.”
What this will allow me to do…via art, no less…is to recreate/clean/live in my “Soul House” again. Suffice it to say…
I’mma gonna clean MY “internal essence” of the negative, expected, stressors and/or shit that makes my inner soul look like a crack house.
My windows are broken. My door is kicked in. My paint is peeling.
This is in no way saying I don’t have my shit goin’ on. I do.
What I lack, however, is the peace within my soul to believe solidly in myself as a result of events and circumstance making me
think believe otherwise.
Always doing for other people…always shafting my thoughts/opinions/beliefs for the sake of feeling “safety in numbers.”
I admit it.
Now, one of the suggestions made at the beginning of this program is that we not show anyone our books.
I don’t think that’s possible. I think my putting myself out there is doing exactly what I need to be doing…for “Me.”
My journal? Hells no.
My books? Yes. I will readily open myself to you in the hopes that you can form your own thoughts/ideas/perceptions with respect to healing your own soul…even if it’s just from having a gander at my process.
It won’t always make sense, of course. I respect the process and the institution of all that is “business” and “program.”
But, you can certainly take a peek at the evolution of “Me.”
Here are my WEEK ONE projects:
If you’re interested in where it is that I’m doing this…head on over to: