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Sanctum Sanctorum…

“A hideaway; a room or other place where one can seek refuge from his everyday concerns; a haven or sanctuary.”

You know when I go to the doctor and they ask me, “So, are you under stress at all?”…and you know when I look at them like they’re bat-shit crazy…and you know when they listen to all that fills up my plate and give me the “eyebrow raise” because, in fact, it’s actually MOI who is bat-shit crazy??!!

Apparently, you should meditate all the bat-shit crazy out of your head.


Seems to be the psychological “treat-of-the-week”…the “flavour-of-the-month”…whatever.

I’ve been stressing all out because I know I should meditate, I know I’d reap the benefits if I were to meditate…and I sure as shit comprehend the energetic reunification of the inner chi if I meditate…

But let’s face it.  Yoga class can only afford so much when you’re listening to the whompwhompwhomp from the bass in the adjacent spinning class and the clangswishclang of the local beefcake pressing elephants on the machine right outside the studio doors.

Then I had one of my life coaching sessions and….it hit me.  Lightbulb-over-head kind of “I just heard the angels sing” sort of epiphany:



Think deeply or focus for a time for spiritual purposes or to relax.
Think deeply or carefully about (something).

contemplate – think – muse – ponder – reflect – cogitate (that sounds kinky)

Anyhooooooo….get this!!! Please pay attention:

I’m calling bullshit on your excuse of “I can’t find the time to meditate because I’m bat-shit crazy busy and can’t come up with enough minutes out of my buttcrack ATM to try to rectify the discombobulation of my chaotic inner chi.”

Because…well…ya, that’s how I thought.

*hangs head*

Then, while babbling out goals and hopes and tools in my kit to reach meditative enlightenment with my life coach….I realized:

I have been defining “meditation” within my perceived societal measures and parameters.


What do *I* do…something for myself that brings me to solely focus on my own thought processes (and, sometimes, on nothing at all…chew on that.)…something that allows me the freedom to think on a totally different level…something that brings my heartrate down…something that regulates the rhythm of my breath…

Dude.  I may not be able to personally align the outer rings of Saturn with the moons of Jupiter, but I sure as hell can SCRAPBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mind.  Blown.

Scrapbooking, my dear peeps…IS my meditation.

*jazz hands*

Thus, I spent an exhorbitant amount of blood (no, not really…surprising, actually) sweat and tears (that’s true) to clean up and re-organize my studio over the past week.

So much time, in fact, that I think I can bench press the beefcake at the gym.

Why so much time and effort?


It’s my place to go to where there is no thought to daily activity…no thoughts other than those I permit to permeate through the fibres of my very essence.

It’s my place to go to where I don’t need to define my pain, other than what I choose to express through my projects…and only if…ONLY if…that’s where I need to place my focus.

Welcome home, dear soul…

…welcome home.



    • Brynn

      I wonder, then, how much more satisfaction I could obtain if only I could start shedding the thoughts that I’m doing something “incorrectly” merely because my definition mirrors someone else’s whose events and experiences have defined something totally different right from the get-go.

      So, then…consider myself “shedding”. Schmexy. 😉

  1. Kate

    I feel this way about baking. Well baking for the sake of baking. I go a little crazy then I have to bake on a deadline, but when I’m just making something to share with others it’s very relaxing. I think it’s the order of everything. The specific measurements, order of ingredients, baking times appeals to my semi-ocd nature. Also seeing the enjoyment of others when they sample my baking makes me feel great.

    I wish I had more artistic skillz like you, but I can bake a damn good pie! 😉
    Also, SOO jealous of your awesome space!

    • Brynn

      I feel this way about eating your baking 😉 Especially the chocolate bites with the peanut butter in them. My ass grew exponentially in proportion to how many I ate.

      Worth every moment. The focus is what makes it rewardingly meditative. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure it out….

  2. Erik

    Wow that is very nice! Sometimes I wish I had a little get away room, but for me even when I get to such a place the humming and rolling-of-the-thoughts keeps me from relaxing. Meditate? Yup, sure thing. I had a therapist tell me that I need to stretch out with my arms high above my head and my feet way out there and breathe deeply for five minutes. THAT sounds pretty off-the-rocker to me. Now when I am researching something interesting or reading a good article… now that’s when I feel relaxed, though my mind still never stops.

    • Brynn

      Now, does your need to “have a little get away room” stem from just plain wanting one, or because that’s how you perceive it should be? I see your meditative states coming directly from your research, I’m so glad you brought that up, because it sooooo doesn’t have to be “artsy” or “writing” or “baking”….not so much even of “doing”…get what I mean, jellybean? 😉

      If your focus allows you to escape for a few stolen moments in the busy-ness that is your reality…that, my dear brother, is indeed, “meditating”. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Ms. Rants

    This is awesome. I just started trying to do breathing-based meditation recently and I really suck at it. I can’t seem to keep my head clear of other things. I like your approach. I can (and do) do that kind of thing all the time, and it feels so relaxing. I suppose I’ll try to do a combination of both. I like the idea of not necessarily having to keep all extraneous thoughts out of my head – that’s just too hard!

    • Brynn

      *nods* I don’t have a “hamster in the brain”…I have a thundering herd of bison. True story. It’s funny how just a simple change of perception can literally change…well…everything! I cannot believe it can really be so helpful just to put out a new idea, and see how people can apply it to their own lives and find relief and/or a easier method of self-care 🙂 xo

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