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Can you hear me now? #HAWMC Day 5

#HAWMC Day 5

“Are you all about 180 characters or less? Do you
enjoy shooting the perfect photo? Or perhaps love
sharing posts on Facebook.What’s your favorite
platform to get your voice heard and why?”

Where you at?
Where you at?

Can you hear me now??

Hmmm. This one is tricky. I’m going to have to go with Facebook, but being the social media diva that I endeavour to be, I really have just been cross-posting across platforms this year. Again, reasons. Not that I’ve entirely lost my mo-jo, no…but that I just…hmmm…how to put it? Am I even being heard?

*frowny face of wrinkly agitation*

No. Not entirely that, either. Maybe because after The Hell that was the experimental chemo treatment regimen of Last Fall coupled with taking a college program (because, bat-shit crazy at 42 years old with a wall of degrees/diplomas and…”Social Media” program) and a new-found solo mom-dom…I really didn’t want to eat, shit, sleep and breathe anything “Lupus” for a good long while.


THAT. Yes!! That. Nail on proverbial head. Hard.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ve entirely processed all that last year entailed. Having to get documents in order. Having to ask spiritual guardians to care for my children as my “timeline” zoomed forward into The Unknown.

Going from living with Lupus at the rate of several “What the actual fuck’s” per hour to being in remission (clinically called “quiescence”) *Yay!* has been a…hell, I don’t even know how to put that into words.

Nope. This year’s “voice” has been simply posting about my self care as the depression hit hard and the feeling of being tossed ass-over-backwards seemingly made me feel quite alone. But, like always, I continued to “Do.” things…in my home, in my community and for myself. Because gosh darn it, people like me. 😉 Have to maintain the @ChronicBadass street cred, y’know.

I’m not cured. There IS no cure for Lupus. But, where people are all “Yay!” I’m a little more…haunted, to be honest. I know it’s there. It’s lurking. My goal is to minimize my Everything whilst sipping my coffee.

So, I post links about pretty much anything NOT health-related the past several months. That’ll change, of course, but for now…I really hope people are still being inspired by the reality of keeping on keepin’ on that I continue…even when I don’t want to.

I flood the interwebs with all things guinea pigs right now because, honestly, that’s what’s been keeping me going as of late. You must understand, part of my Hell last year was organizing and accepting that my children will be well cared for in my stead. I think peeps generally question why I don’t seem to put them first.

Because, if I’m not well enough to take care of “Me.”…I cannot take care of them.

I’ve also been really focused on trying to help others remember that they matter. I know the feeling…the “lost”…the “lonely”…the “Everything.”

So, I settle for self care in the hopes that I can get a better grip on the emotional roller-coaster that has been the past year. Sharks. Cosmos. Guinea Pigs. Colour.

Do you neglect your self care in the midst of trying to promote your voice of advocacy across the interwebs? What’s your favourite thing to do for “You?”

Because, peeps, you matter to me. xoxo

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