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Three cures walked into a bar…

#HAWMC Day 7: “Share a ludicrous headline or cure.  Do a news search and choose a ridiculous headline or proposed cure about your condition and write what you think about it.”

20121017_herbal_medicineWell, let me first start by saying that if one chronic affliction doesn’t find you a cure on the internet, pick one of your other chronic afflictions and you’ll be sure as shit to find the newest, most fandangled cure there is.

If I Google “Cure for lupus”…I really get nothing, and the links that purport to have a “cure”, in fact, only discuss potential management treatments.

That’s because lupus is bat-shit crazy and way too complicated for anyone to even begin to understand, thus rendering a potential article about a cure as improbable as….well….a cure for lupus itself.

So I went to my next greatest affliction: Diabetes.

Diabetes for the win!

First off, I’ve said it once, I will say it until my Sjögren’s syndrome sucks the last drop of moisture off of my already strained vocal chords:

Proclaiming a “cure” in a community of very real, very complex, chronic conditions is not only cruel, but can be downright dangerous.

Ponder, if you will, a person with Type 2 diabetes combining their Metformin with an herbal remedy said person knows absolutely nothing about.

What are it’s contraindications? Will it help, or will it hinder? Are there other factors (such as high blood pressure) that could contribute to ill-effects? Is it a stimulant? Can you use it with ill-fated kidneys? Does it have diuretic properties?!?

Clicking the link to said cure…I found myself at a blog. If said blog contains less information than a Robert Munsch children’s book, you might be at a phony “site.”

Clicking a hyperlink highlighted by the words “this gentleman”…I found myself at a web page closely resembling a column in the latest edition of National Enquirer.

If it has a highlighted section….There’s your sign.

If it has multiple highlighted sections….There’s your sign.

If it has text that reads: “WARNING: do not buy any more diabetes medications without reading this first!”….There’s your sign.

If there are no less than seven hyperlinks to read about this incredible cure “here”….There’s your sign.

If you’ve scrolled down far enough and reached the testimonials from people who were told, by their doctors, that they are “free from diabetes and can stop ALL diabetes medications”….There’s your sign.

The web page, if you were still to continue to scroll down…indicates that diet and exercise are the cure no doctor will tell you about because the pharmaceutical companies profit eleventy-billion dollars a year!!!!!

Listen, I’m sure-as-shit certain that individuals, diagnosed with diabetes of any level, have been told by their doctors that diet and exercise play an incredibly important factor in the management of diabetes. If your doctor did not, he, or she, is a moron.

I might not have gotten a lot of information from mine, but I can tell you that “diet and exercise” was pretty much the first words out of my doctor’s mouth after,”You have Type 2 diabetes” was uttered.

Now we have morons AND conspiracy theorists.

Curses to those pharmaceutical companies!!!


Now we also have a dude who wants to sell you his book about diet and exercise.


The stupid.

It hurts.

Diabetes is a disease that can be “well managed” to the extent of not requiring any pharmaceutical interventions. You can put your disease into a long-term state of “REMISSION.”

Absence of symptoms does not guarantee a cure.

If you understand the process by which diabetes occurs as a result of an ill-functioning pancreas, yadda yadda…you understand.

If you do not understand, you’re playing a dangerous game of roulette.

“Cures Kill Profits!!!!!”

Ever tried to get your opioids refilled?

Bureaucracy kills profits, dude. I’ve felt like it would be easier to just hand over my first-born and half an arm.

Is the healthcare system failing to provide non-pharmaceutical options for disease treatments and/or management?

Kinda. Sorta. They’re not always covered by provincial healthcare coverage. So, only the rich(er) can afford alternative therapies like continued chiropractic, acupuncture  massage therapy, naturopathic care, etc.

Who’s getting rich now?!?

This post prompt made me grouchy. I loathe discussing the immediate assumption that people can’t try to formulate a care plan with their healthcare team(s) that doesn’t rely on medications. I loathe discussing how cruel it is to dangle the proverbial carrot to people already broken by desperation from miserable disease(s).

I know.

I’ve actually found a “you’ll never believe how this will help.”

I’ve actually purchased product.

I’ve actually been a part of the statistical stupid.

Then, I decided to do exactly what my doctor told me to regarding diet and exercise.

I feel fucking better and my sugars are down.

This is a public service announcement: Please have your ignorances and stupids spayed and neutered.



  1. Bradley Gatts

    All forms of diabetes have been treatable since insulin became available in 1921, and type 2 diabetes may be controlled with medications. Insulin and some oral medications can cause hypoglycemia (low blood sugars), which can be dangerous if severe. Both types 1 and 2 are chronic conditions that cannot be cured. Pancreas transplants have been tried with limited success in type 1 DM; gastric bypass surgery has been successful in many with morbid obesity and type 2 DM. Gestational diabetes usually resolves after delivery.-*

    See ya soon

    • Brynn

      Definitely awesome information! I wish people would understand and take a moment to read through it and proceed with caution when hopping on the herbalism bandwagon. Gestational diabetes, however, increases a woman’s risk to become Type 2 diabetic, as what happened to me. One delivery and it “didn’t come back” on standardized testing. After my last preg (twin), it never “went away.” Hence, the clinical diagnosis. They don’t tell you that part. They tell you it will go away after delivery. That, I take great issue with. More knowledge is more power to continue to eat right and exercise!! 😀

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