#HAWMC Day 13: “Write a health acrostic for your condition, hashtag, or username!”
It often astounds me when people say they’ve a wee “envy” of all that I do and all that I’ve become.
I’ve been hearing the whispers of a bully for four years. I’ve heard the relentless silence by those who should speak to deny the opportunity for whispers for just as long.
“…But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.” ~The Boondock Saints, Monsignor
I manage a substance abusing son.
I have twins labelled with a “language learning disability”.
I have more ex’s than I care to admit to.
I’ve had to purposely look into every shadow of every recess and crevasse of my mind in order to clean out the common denominator of what was making my life such a mo-fo snafu = Me.
There is no greener grass on this side. I do things because I will run out of time and risk not having the opportunity to do so “later.” There is no “later” when your heart threatens constant cessation of cellular activity and your kidneys are being an asshat (or would that be pluralized?). Asshats. Failing. No, I cannot “Oh, you can have a transplant!”…I mean, well, yes, I “could”…but what it means is that my disease has progressed to organ failure. TOTAL organ failure. Google it.
I’ve watched an amazing woman die from said total organ failure. It was like looking into a mirror. I made sure my Death File (aka, “Bill Binder”) was up to date and that my insurance dude is now on speed-dial.
I don’t know where I’ll go now, post-Breakdown of 2013. I suppose it depends on who’s along for the ride.
I can assure you this: Everything I do, pass or fail, good or bad, TSN turning point…is done because I’ve gotten the fortitude to do it…is done because I’ve made a choice to do it…
…is done because if I don’t own my shit, I have no one’s ass to kick but my own.
On a totally unrelated note, stay tuned for another “Healing Through Art” post regarding the 104 pretty badass cards I made on my weekend-away scrapbooking retreat!! I even got to use some bling. Bling makes me happy.